Besides crypto…

  • shalafi@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I’d pump out the MAGA merchandise. I’m talking grift of biblical proportions.

    Would you like a cherry on top? After becoming America’s #1 purveyor, I’d go all out telling the world that I got rich suckering rubes.

  • 9point6@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Probably a several-way bet on trump winning a presidency, suggesting everyone inject themselves with bleach and then staging a coup, Britain shitting the bed, deciding to leave the EU, manifesting £60bn of debt and shocking the Queen to death, Russian war in Europe, a global pandemic killing millions getting turned into political football, the Taliban taking over Afghanistan again, several of the big names in 2016 dying, a trend of people wanting to eat laundry capsules & idk Alec Baldwin shooting someone.

    I reckon a quid on that would net me enough to buy an island with a mansion on it

    Fuck me, have we had a bad decade

    • CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Plot twist, your crazy bet goes viral (no pun intended) and the guy who dropped the test tube in Wuhan was late to work that day because he was watching a video about it. No pandemic occurs, Trump fades into obscurity, and a small company working on climate change solutions makes an incredible finding and fixes the planet because they didn’t have to go bankrupt during COVID.

      Alec Baldwin still shoots someone.

  • frickineh@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I’d wait a couple of years and talk my ex-husband into keeping our house and renting it instead of selling it when we split up. It made sense at the time, since selling it was the fastest way to pay off all of our mutual debt (and most of our individual debt, too) and make it an easy split, but if we’d waited a few years, we would’ve made a solid 6 figure profit. I have no desire to be a landlord and mostly I’m glad we sold it to a nice family for what was still an affordable amount, but it would’ve been the only way I could ever afford to buy anything else on a single income, and it would’ve set him and his new wife up a lot better. I kind of hate the idea morally, but from a purely pragmatic view, it would’ve made sense.

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
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    5 months ago

    PPE and Vaccine maker stocks, it’ll be 5 years to get the initial capital but once I’ve got it together, those are gonna explode in value on me.

    I’d hesitate to switch my college of choice for the friends I’d lose out on, but if I did I would know where I’d try extra hard to get in instead. Def reconsidering the major I study though, the one I went with was sold to me as one of the best and turned out to be fucking useless trying to find any work.

  • GamingChairModel@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Realistically, I would grieve the loss of my children, who would never be born if I didn’t line things up just right to cause them to happen again. I’d spend more time with my parents, who are getting along in the years, and I’d make the most of my time with them while they’re healthy and happy.

    There are a few specifics where I’d try to get some loved ones out of trouble before some critical tipping point that would later cause a bunch of heartache and stress.

    There are general things about money and politics I’d probably do differently, knowing about how stocks have performed and what not, but that’s not super interesting to me, because I’m mostly content in my personal life (including my career) and wouldn’t want to upset that balance by doing anything too different from what brought me here.

    • Deway@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Realistically, I would grieve the loss of my children, who would never be born if I didn’t line things up just right to cause them to happen again

      This right there is the one reason I wouldn’t go back in time if given the chance.

  • z00s@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    I would help myself become more confident, less anxious and a better person.

    I know that sounds lame but that alone would be worth more than any stock tips to me.

    Sending my mind back to the past is the wish I keep in my back pocket to blurt out if I see a falling star or meet a geanie.

    • Leg@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      This is what I would do. My charisma stat is way higher than it was as a kid, so I might be able to make my school years less hell.

  • sga@lemmy.world
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    5 months ago

    Harambe, whatever happens, dont try to play with a child, that does not go well