• flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
    1582·
    5 个月前

    Is this a parody, or did someone actually brag on twitter about having sex? I honestly can’t tell what’s satire any more.

    • boonhet@lemm.ee
      114·
      5 个月前

      Could be either way, honestly. He’s a fundie who bragged about remaining a virgin until marriage. He finally got hitched to a former Miss Universe of all people, at age 32 or something.

    • gibmiser@lemmy.world
      1335·
      5 个月前

      The other posters replying to you are as bad as the clickbait links they posted. I’m not about to go searching this guys social media, but this image or quote it wasn’t in either link they shared.

      What the fuck is wrong with you posters? Not answering the question and posting a link to a news article that also doesn’t answer the question? Fucking don’t wast my time jesus.

      • 4am@lemm.ee
        243·
        5 个月前

        The whole of the internet to figure out if something is factual or not and yet you demand someone else does the thinking for you

        No wonder AI will replace us so easily

        • gibmiser@lemmy.world
          75·
          5 个月前

          No, I “demand” that they don’t post in a way that implies the thing is real with links when the links don’t contain that information.

          I will admit I’m being a grouchy ass. Sorry I’m taking my frustration out on you guys.

      • underwire212@lemm.ee
        1·
        5 个月前

        Omg the logic in this comment is miraculously inconsistent. I’m honestly impressed with the fact that this came into your brain, proceeded to flow out of you into the keyboard, and not once did you stop yourself to think “wait a second, does what I’m saying even make sense?”

        Congratulations. This is probably the dumbest comment I’ve read in months 👍

  • notabot@lemm.ee
    64·
    5 个月前

    Like a sea turtle trying to get up on a raft.

    What a mental image. Brain bleach, stat, please.

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
    576·
    5 个月前

    God was there

    In the corner

    Quietly jerking off

    Then cumming over the two of them

    God is a kinky dude, I like him.

  • UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.mlEnglish
    36·
    5 个月前

    Just keep in mind God doesn’t think anal and oral sex (hopefully not in that order, but no shame you do you) counts according to some religious people i met.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
      19·
      5 个月前

      He’s definitely okay with oral. Provided you swallow.

      There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.

      – Mark 7:15

    • OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee
      10·
      5 个月前

      My understanding is that anal and oral are “wrong” in the same way masturbation is, it’s spilling your seed outside of sex for procreation.

      But like, clearly a tier better than premarital sex so…

      • ivanafterall ☑️@lemmy.worldEnglish
        14·
        5 个月前

        If you believe Jesus, even looking at a woman with lust in your heart is equivalent to full-on adultery, so no tiers. Many Christians actually believe that and, for example, would treat discovering a partner watching porn as if they’ve discovered the partner cheating.

      • Soggy@lemmy.worldEnglish
        8·
        5 个月前

        That also isn’t the moral of that story, despite what they tell you in Sunday school. Onan was punished because he didn’t want to impregnate his brother’s widow, which would have legally given his late brother an heir rather than Onan inheriting the property. Look up “levirate marriage”.

        • andros_rex@lemmy.world
          3·
          5 个月前

          No one talks about the follow up to that story, where Onan’s dad Judah is like, “shit! this woman is trouble! I can’t lose my last son!” He basically tells Tamar (the widow) to go back to her dad, blows her off.

          Tamar gets sick of it, goes into town, disguises herself as a temple prostitute. Judah comes to town, asks what it costs for a roll in the hay, and she asks for his family’s token so she’ll know he’s good for it.

          She ends up pregnant, and the elders of the village bring her before Judah - “hey, your daughter in law was a whore and got knocked up, we are putting her to death.” He says, “who knocked you up?” - she produces the family token. He says “ah shit, you got me.” She has the kid, gets the inheritance. Depending on which gospel, she could be Jesus’s great (x a bunch) grandmother.

          Like Genesis outright recognizes what she did as right. She’s the hero of the story.

        • Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
          1·
          5 个月前

          I’ve always wondered where the word “onanist” came (lol) from… I’m guessing from this fairy tale accurate historical account of genuine events.

        • Soggy@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          5 个月前

          Which is wild because that’s like the least bad thing the Sodomites were up to (and Lot’s whole family was pretty fucked too). But people will latch onto the flimsiest justification that reinforces their beliefs, in this case “gay dudes are icky.”

    • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works
      22·
      5 个月前

      Probably had it a couple of other times since then. Would have to check his posts to be sure. Willing to bet there were maybe a few times where God was not there.