Because I’m fat and ugly. I don’t want to see it and trust me you don’t want to see it either.
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Trojan soldiers said the same thing about a big wooden horse outside their walls.
Mr. Hands was surprised by a horse with big wood.
He died doing that too!
Now someone just needs to write an epic ballad and there’d be perfect parity between the two events.
i used to feel like that until i discovered the chub and bear crowds.
now i show off my hairy moobs; my low hanging belly; and my back boobs every chance i get when the sun is out.
I remember something about them being hunted to extinction
So true 🤣
Me too, thanks.
Understanding dryer settings.
Girl, step into any sports themed gay bar. We are still dressing like this.
Because I’d look like this:
Is that Lukashenko?
The real Phil Collins. RIP.
BAAAAAAAAAAM!
Green eggs and HAAAAAMMMM!
Randy bobandy’s dad?
The shape of my body.
We grew up watching those dudes get butchered in increasingly-grotesque ways by a diverse conglomeration of psychotic murderers and animals, both natural and supernatural.
I’m good with my plain black t-shirt that’s long enough to serve as a dress because I’m fat and need uberlength shirts to make it over the curvature of my Moo Deng pregnancy and still have enough fabric left over to not leave me looking like I’m wearing a cummerbund made from pale hairy human skin.
Fat guy dress > being split vertically, starting at the willy, by an industrial saw because I unknowingly spent a summer afternoon in a swimming hole that once hosted a cruel gang of teenagers who pretended to befriend a lonely man with a deformity and subsequently caused him to drown in it by shoving him off the rocks into the water even though they knew he couldn’t swim.
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We live in a society.
Fat
I don’t have a younger sister I have to share clothes with.
Because those hunks never survived the movie.
I work IT in a construction yard and dont like the oil and slurry shit getting on my thighs when I have to fix the internet in the wash bay. Weekends are fair game but I’m a twink not a hunk so the pull off is different.
What exactly do you do on the job? I’m more curious than anything. Doing fiber/Ethernet runs?
This is a special case cause no one listens to me and I document that not listening. But the fuel island terminal needs a wired connection, wireless solutions do not play well. So my company ignores me and buys wireless connectors. They go down. Instead of trenching and running a cable like I tell them, they’ve bought hundreds of feet of Ethernet and every time a truck runs over the Ethernet cable to the fuel island I run out there and make a new one to run. It happens once a week.
Sounds like you got some job security, lol
My fragile masculinity 😔
Beer belly
And my sagging balls.
Eh, just throw them over your shoulder and you’re good to go.
Can you imagine?!! Especially with a midriff shirt!
I don’t drink or eat a lot of carbs, I am trim and lean. But I still wouldn’t dress like that simply because bare midriff doesn’t look good on men unless you’re fully trying to imitate the 80’s movie aesthetic for laughs.
