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For anyone who needs a more realistic looking boyfriend I’m also available for half the price but my excuse will be that another core piece of internet infrastructure has crashed.
How disheveled is your beard? How many pockets do your pants have? What kind of multi tool is on your belt next to your cell phone holster?
Wrong nerd. Ask them about their dotfiles. After they finish their ranted answer just smile and nod while saying “haha, yea my cousin coded godots too, did you work with them?” and then hug them when that makes them cry.
And for another $100 will you also be my boyfriend?
per hour
Cool, I just need 2 minutes. 😏
That price is only if you’re in-network.
For an extra ten bucks I want him to wear a she/her trans pin and eyeliner. I need a new scandal to distract them from the smoke bomb kerfuffle.
If I had one of those pins, I would be sending you a private message right now, lol. I don’t often wear eyeliner, but when I do, I love it when it pisses off bigots ❤️
Oh damn are you a real doctor? ARE YOU THE DOCTOR FROM THE MEME? How much ambien are you allowed to perscribe?
Lol, I really want everyone here to know that I am not a real doctor
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
That’s fine. How much ambien can you prescribe me?
(S)he and the hat man are personal friends.
I thought the hat man was benadryl. Its the ambient walrus.
The hat man is my emergency contact.
Can I pay this man $100 to call and tell my Mom that essential oils and industrial bleach in a dropper won’t cure anything and she should just embrace her own mortality?
If he knows more than Dr. Oz, then why isn’t he on Oprah and leading a federal health agency?
For that price you better be in the middle of a procedure removing a large object from someones rectum that they “accidentally fell on”.
(If not, I can pay extra, np.)
(And if there is a supply shortage, I can help too, we can split the profits.)Oh thank heavens! Now I don’t have to sell my body.
But are you actually from Canada though?
