Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?
Not discussing pay rate with coworkers/colleagues. I mean, talk about complicity via fear.
Not discussing pay rate with coworkers/colleagues. I
My day job is Union. Everyone’s rates are well-published. We have less boring things to talk about.
Might be true for non-union gigs, but from my experience in union shops nobody cares because everyone can see what the pay rates are. Same with retirement plans.
I feel like anyone who isn’t heavily involved in left wing internet spaces understands why you don’t want to discuss pay with coworkers.
Someone fears their coworkers will find out they are making less, and will think they are less skilled, or maybe a pushover.
Or someone fears their coworkers will find out they are making more, and will fear their coworkers think they were manipulative in order to get it, think they are egotistical for sharing, or may become envious.
And then pay discrepencies invite unwanted feelings about “do I actually deserve to make more than him - I don’t think I’m worth it” or “I make so much less rhan her, I must suck at my job.”
Not discussing pay is a convenient way to sweep all this under the rug
That benefits bosses and deprives workers from knowing how much their labor is worth.
That’s my point. Unless you are an online leftist, you probably aren’t constantly analyzing the world in terms of bosses exploiting their workers. You are far more concerned about your social standing among your peers.
Sort of? I’m a team lead (middle management) so I have a vested interest in seeing my team is paid as high as possible. As part of goal planning we have frank discussions of certifications, training AND salary. That includes discussing where I’m at and what it took to get there. Its pushed folks who otherwise would be content with what the company gives them and gives them a roadmap to move up.
Wow you’re the exact opposite of my experience of middle management! Which is: never discuss salary, don’t encourage certification or training, do not explain how you got there, do not give employees a roadmap, just pile on the work and stoke fear.
Sounds like par for the course in the US. 🤌🏼
I remember being a kid and hearing about a family member’s workplace instituting a rule against discussing pay after some people got upset they were making less than their coworkers and started advocating for higher pay.
Neither I nor anyone in my immediate family was a leftist, but it seemed really obvious the primary reason for the rule was that management didn’t want people to have reasons to demand higher pay.
True!
No one alive today agreed to Daylight Saving Time.
It has been introduced in my country during the early 80s, so I have to disagree on that one.
That’s just about 40 years ago, so pretty sure there are still people left who agreed to it.Yeah, I was over-simplifying to make my statement more dramatic and semi-funny, because so many people hate the clock-switching.
It’s complicated. DST is mostly observed in North America, Europe, and part of Australia, and mostly since pre- or during WWII, BUT yes there are a few countries that started later. There are also some original ones that stopped observing it and then started again later. Also, some of the people still alive from when it started would have been too young to be able to agree to it.
So I’ll amend my statement to “The vast majority of people alive today didn’t agree to DST”. Doesn’t have the same punch.
l agree that it’s complicated.
The DST in the early 80s actually was the 3rd time people introduced it here, one of the predecessors of our current state even being the first country to ever use it in its current form during WWI.
In BC Canada we are now on permanent Daylight Savings time woohoo!
Hands clasped behind the back means, “just looking”. Seems pretty universal. People do this in stores all the time.
Honestly I do this because I like to fidget and I’m afraid I’ll reach out to grab something I’m not supposed to.
It helps you balance when you’re leaning forward to look at something.
This is my typical art museum pose, so I can get close without touching or falling into the paintings
I think it also conveys a signal of “I’m not going to try to touch that” which might put others at ease. It’s also a good “idle pose” that doesn’t convey disinterest like crossed arms or hands in pockets does.
I do it because it relieves pressure on my back
This was always just old man walk to me but I never thought about why old guys all seemed to do it
The elevator one seems pretty universal, but “ope” is regional.
These kinds of social norms aren’t universal.
One that I wish were more universal would be standing on the right when using an escalator, and leaving the left side for walking.
Interesting point! I guess ‘ope’ is my regional bias showing lol. The escalator thing is a great example of a rule that makes life so much more efficient, yet people still ignore it. I wonder why some rules like ‘facing the door’ stick so well, while others like ‘stand on the right’ are a constant struggle. Do you think it’s because one is about comfort and the other is about efficiency?
“Sorry!”
On the contrary, I’d say the elevator thing is only comfortable because it’s a social norm. Unless it’s a subconscious “face the door so you can see if any attackers enter” thing.
The escalator thing is less universal because it’s something that helps other people, and not ourselves. This isn’t valued as much in individualistic societies like the ones in most of North America.
Disagree. First of all, you are in an elevator for a very short time, unlike with public transport for example. You might as well be facing the direction you need to go to, so that when the doors open, you go, instead of having to turn and then go.
Second… I regularly take crowded elevators and while it’s true that almost nobody stands facing back to the door, it’s also true that easily half the people choose to stand sideways, facing the side walls. (Which btw makes someone with a pram or wheelchair easier to get into the elevator). It’s a mix of being ready to go and being able to rest your back against the walls of the elevator more than an unspoken social convention.
Edit: hey well, at least in Australia. Maybe wherever you live everyone faces the door in an elevator.
I think the elevator one is the same as escalators: to minimize traffic disruption. If you’re facing away from the elevator doors, you can’t tell if you’re at the right floor (causing a delay), you can’t see if there are people interested in entering (another delay), people interested in entering will likely assume this isn’t your floor (yet another delay), it takes time to turn around when it is your floor (delay), and you disrupt anyone behind you in the elevator who also wants to exit there.
When you accidentally bump into someone you say “watch where ya walkin’!”
“What are ya’, blind?!”
I always wish I was a “hey watch it!” guy but I am forever a “sorry!” guy even when it is clearly NOT my fault. 🤦🏻♀️
that’s what many people do including me, but honestly i’m not sure if letting people walk on the escalator is a good idea.
they literally have “please do not walk on the escalator” audio on repeat lol. i’ve heard it’s also bad for the escalator’s structural integrity.
Elevator walker here. This is the first I’m hearing of it! Given that it’s not a thing being played or said in various European countries, where do they have this on repeat? Where did you hear it was bad for it? Any idea why bigger cities generally have markings on the sides of escalators to designate which side to stand, and which side to walk on, since that would only promote the bad-for-their-infrastructure behavior?
Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Escalator_etiquette doesn’t mention anything about damaging the escalator. Walking along increases your chances of falling or something though. In Hong Kong they apparently measured 43% of accidents stemming from “moving or walking along”. Methinks a stationary bicycle rarely crashes… I’ll take my chances. Can’t be that bad if 57% of accidents stems from the people who just stand there. I’ve never met anyone who was in an escalator accident whereas most people who drive have a traffic accident at some point in their lives and loads of near-misses, so the escalator accident odds must be much lower than that, as well as the speed and consequences involved in escalator accidents, I’d assume
interesting, i live in korea and hear similar audios in various places. (like this, “please do not walk on the escalators and hold the handle on both sides”)
and indeed, seems like i can’t find much about standing on one side damaging the escalator. not sure where i’ve even heard of it lol.
kinda unrelated but after having seen this (pic attached) recently, i’m kinda scared of escalators in general lol.
I know someone who was in an escalator accident. The issue is that if you trip, your hair can get caught in it and if you don’t resolve it by the top it rips the hair from your scalp. Idk if modern ones have mechanisms to prevent this, but i know of a gnarly accident from the 80s or 90s. Makes me stressed every time I ride one. I almost always stand still, with one foot on the stair above and a hand on the railing to maximize stability.
Can also happen with a loose shoelace but then you just slip your foot out of the shoe so not so bloody.
Shouldn’t they make stronger escalators, then?
i kinda worded it poorly. the primary reason they say that is because one may bump into others or lose balance and fall down. and there’s usually stairs that can be used instead if one wants to walk.
Order of Adjectives. You do this unconsciously and don’t even know you’re doing it.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/grammar/british-grammar/adjectives-order
“The big black house up on the hill.”
Never “The black big up on the hill house.”
1 - opinion - unusual, lovely, beautiful
2 - size - big, small, tall
3 - physical quality - thin, rough, untidy
4 - shape - round, square, rectangular
5 - age - young, old, youthful
6 - colour - blue, red, pink
7 - origin - Dutch, Japanese, Turkish
8 - material - metal, wood, plastic
9 - type - general-purpose, four-sided, U-shaped
10 - purpose - cleaning, hammering, cookingThat’s a language rule, tho
One could argue language rules are social rules tho
Yup, if you mix up the adjective order, people will look at you like you’re an alien.
“Your leader, to him take me!”
My favorite one of these unconscious linguistic rules is expletive infixation. We say “fan-fucking-tastic” but “fanta-fucking-stic” sounds completely wrong.
‘How are you today?”
“Good, you?”
“Good, thanks.”
UK version (male)- any deviation, even with your best friend/dad is a capital offence.
-Alright?
-Not bad, you?
-Yeah not bad.
Or the office version
- Alright?
- uhu
- mm
Aw hell no. I trauma dump on everyone who asks me “How are you?”
Okay everyone avoid Jenna.
No matter how many times I remind myself that this is performative NT dishonesty, I cannot make myself lie. If you ask a question, you should expect an honest answer. You will never convince me that it’s the “neurotypicals” who aren’t psychologically unwell.
I usually give an “eh I’m doing okay” since that gives a chance if they actually wanted to know what’s up.
“great!”
I like the tradition of “bless you!” when someone sneezes, but it is surely not necessary. And why do we say that for sneezing but not coughing?
I was at the urinal the other day and sneezed; someone said bless you from a stall.
It was awkward. Breaking one social norm to uphold another.
You can restore the social contract by putting your hand under the stall for a firm handshake. If he consents, you get a firm handshake and relief that the social contract is restored. If he refuses, then you have to deal with the shame and heartache.
If he doesn’t take the handshake the only appropriate thing to do is to wait outside the bathroom, follow him to the parking lot and then follow him home. Once you learn his address, you can start learning his routines and the routines of his family. There are many options at this point, but the one I recommend is applying for a job where he works. The next step could take a long time, potentially years. Work your way up the ladder. Take night classes to fit the roles you’re applying for internally, and dedicate yourself to the job. Delay finding “the one” and starting a family like you’ve always dreamed of. Nothing matters but the job. Bide your time and when you finally are promoted to this man’s boss, on your first day, offer a handshake. Of course, he won’t deny you. Relish this moment. Feel the warmth of his hand I yours. Smile and say “was it really that hard?” When he gives you a quizzical look, laugh it off like it was a joke. You want to call it there, but you’re in too deep. You’re making nearly 300k a year in salary and commissions and you have a clear shot at EVP if you play your cards right. Your lifestyle has changed and you have an expensive mortgage, a boat payment for a yacht you don’t have time to take out, and a number of women half your age that you spend what little free time you have with wining and dining. They have expensive tastes. You tried coke recently and you really like it. It makes your job so much easier because you need to be “on” all the time and you haven’t been sleeping well, but you’ve discovered that if you do just exactly the right amount, you can perform at peak. You have it totally figured out.
In the team I work with, we’ve established saying “Shut up!” if someone sneezes instead.
The proper response for coughing is “Die quietly”.I hate this tradition fiercely and I’m glad to have moved to a place where sneezes are generally ignored. As they should be.
I have a friend who says ‘coughs you’ lol
I also say it when someone farts.
I’m not religious and just ignore people that say bless you. It’s entirely disingenuous anyway. No one is aware of what they’re saying, let alone means it. It’s just a thing for them to feel good and nothing to do with the sneezer.
A sneeze was a demon leaving your body - apparently. Way back in the day.
feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone
Found the midwesterner?
Having to sell our labor for a fraction of the profit and being outcast if you want to opt out.
Coupling healthcare to employment.
Forcing the majority of retirement savings to be tied up in the stock market and killing company sponsored pensions.
Those aren’t social rules and 2 of the 3 are about as regional as OP’s “ope”.
Coupling healthcare to employment.
Outside of America, this is seen as absurd.
I miss the days of stopping at a yellow light to let the person turning left go.
I haven’t driven in 4 years, and this has given me road rage on my couch.
All of them, in a way. We don’t sign on to social rules we just kind of learn them, usually from our parents, then from other kids. Someone who’s never been in an elevator might face inwards. I’m from the North of England. The first time I took a ride on the London tube I was 30ish, and I was completely unaware of the incredibly complex and subtle social rules at play there. I made eye contact and even smiled. I tried to strike up a conversation. This was completely wrong to do, it turns out. I never agreed to be so unfriendly, specifically on the tube, but now, I am.
So anyway to answer your question, the weird requirement to sort of suppress your humanity on public transit in big cities is maybe necessary, definitely not hilarious, but very, very strange.
Nice point
“Ope! Lemme just scooootch on by ya!”
Like how we all face the door in an elevator or feel the need to say ‘ope’ when we almost bump into someone. What’s a silent rule of society that you find hilarious or totally unnecessary?
I look in the mirror when there is one.
And when i bump into someone i go “SORRY IM SORRY IM SO SORRY IM SORRY AREYOUOKAY”
Like how we all face the door in an elevator
That’s only a movie thing so that the camera can see the actors. People don’t do it in real life (at least not around here).
You face the wall?
The door is a wall too.
Some elevators have doors on opposite sides (e.g. this is common in places with a car park entrance)
When they’re alone or with other people? If I’m alone, I’m facing forward.
Not sure I agree with your appreciation of the elevator. I don’t know where you are (I’ve never heard “ope” either) but at least in Australia not everyone faces the door in an elevator. I’ll copy my own comment left below to someone else:
…you are in an elevator for a very short time, unlike with public transport for example. You might as well be facing the direction you need to go to, so that when the doors open, you go, instead of having to turn and then go.
Second… I regularly take crowded elevators and while it’s true that almost nobody stands facing back to the door, it’s also true that easily half the people choose to stand sideways, facing the side walls. (Which btw makes someone with a pram or wheelchair easier to get into the elevator). It’s a mix of being ready to go and being able to rest your back against the walls of the elevator more than an unspoken social convention.
in Australia not everyone faces the door in an elevator.
In NYC it’s illegal not to. It’s a fun law.
Don’t live for a system that’s evil.
