Personally, I find it endlessly frustrating and even terrifying to be in the passenger seat with a driver who jumps in the car and immediately goes… Then worries about Seatbelts/Radio/AC/Mirrors/Plugging in Phone/etc etc while driving.
Tailgating, weaving through lanes to pass other cars and get to our destination zero seconds faster, fucking around with their phone. General “bad driver” stuff.
My husband regularly continues accelerating toward the vehicle in front of us while said vehicle is braking. He also tailgates. It’s terrifying and I rarely let him be the one to drive.
Granted I’m a lifelong loner but…how do you deal with this? I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think I could ever have a partner who drives so egregiously dangerous. Not only is it dangerous, but it also indicates a severe lack of empathy for other human beings. I don’t know how I could reconcile a severe lack of empathy in a partner like that.
I guess it depends. Does he tailgate out of aggression or because he’s not paying attention? Not that one is necessarily better than others, but the intent is different. One just implies stupidity while the other implies lack of empathy.
Not the one you’re replying to but my SO was a terrible driver and still has issues. At first I brought it to them calmly but over the years it turned into nagging. That being said, their driving has improved significantly. Much safer than it was but they still get mad at other cars who were being oblivious. They also admitted they have problems seeing at night so I always drive at night now.
They’re aware I have a problem with their driving and it is a source of contention in our relationship but not enough to break up over.
I deal with it by being the one to drive more than 99% of the time. It would be a problem if he wanted to be the one driving, but fortunately he doesn’t.
I don’t know why he tailgates. He doesn’t recognize that what he’s doing is dangerous. So I guess stupidity…
The last time I was a passenger in my brother’s car, I remembered that he tends to drive in a way that makes me feel unsafe, like what OP described. Unreasonable acceleration, tailgating, swerving. He laughed when I was physically bracing myself and said his partner does the same thing. I told him I just won’t be in a car when he’s driving anymore. Of course, it’s easier to do because I don’t see him too often.
IMO when I’m driving, I not only have a responsibility to keep my passengers safe, but to make them feel safe. I might feel safe because I know I’ll brake in time, but my passengers don’t because they’re not controlling the vehicle.
When we’re first in line at a red light, and the driver starts doing shit like check their phone.
Wife does this and it drives me nuts - unless it just turned red, you fucking stare at that light so you can GTFO the second it turns green.
…then she gets annoyed when I say “light’s green” when it turns while she’s distracted. -_-
My husband got a ticket/points on his license doing that and that stopped him.
I wish they enforced that more in my area.
Theres plenty of people who complain about drivers who get ticketed for using a mobile while at lights or stopped in traffic (think of the comments on a particular uk cycle cammer who films drivers using their mobiles then reports them) but it plays heavily with situational awareness & drivers ability to “check back in” to the activity of driving.
I’m all pro not touching a phone while driving, hell, I won’t even plug my phone to charge if driving.
There’s no excuse.
Being first at a red light is a big responsibility. That shit is not to be taken lightly.
My father in law brakes incredibly late. Consequently, he brakes very hard. Drives me (heh) insane, and causes me to reach for the oh-shit bar and the ghost brake every time.
Add in hysterical, blood-vessel-throbbing shrieks at the person in front, and you’ve just described my mom’s driving. It’s terrifying to ride anywhere with her.
My ex gets distracted easily. She always hated that I would ghost brake, but I can’t help it when she’s not reacting to the stopped car in front of us
Omg, I had an ex that did this too and it gave me a heart attack every time. I totally did the same ghost brake thing too, I couldn’t help it.
Driving digitally. Gas and brake pedals are analog controllers, not buttons.
ffs people with lead feet need to read this
My ex would try to maintain an exact speed by slightly ecxelerating then let off the gas over and over, just tap tap tap on the gas. 100 miles of tiny lurches.
I’ve had uber drivers who do this in an electric car. If you thought it was bad in an ICE, lemme tell you. With that instant torque its a vomit comet
This right here. I’ve known two drivers with this exact habit. Spectacularly infuriating.
Just let me out right here. I’ll walk.
I’ve definitely had to teach myself to stop doing that. Now I have all the adaptive cruise control stuff which works perfectly fine for this task and saves on consumption.
I’ve definitely had to teach myself to stop doing that
Not trying to sound mean: what in the world made you start doing that?
I’m not sure I was doing exactly what they describe, not sure I was tapping as much as I just wasn’t staying regular and drifting +/- 5km/h to the point I got a couple complaints about it. I never realised it before and after that worked on keeping steady and it came quickly.
Ah, ok, that’s actually a lot more understandable, actually
I’ve known one of the flutter-footers and never thought to ask why
They must have taken driving lessons from a thermostat.
This is how to get your passengers to vomit all over the inside of your car
I used to have a friend who did this and wasn’t very good at it, so she would constantly accelerate and brake, so much it made me queasy.
Convsersely, a passenger who takes off their seatbelt when I get close to their destination.
Tailgating and driving fast in parking lots. Some people just do these out of habit, it drives me nuts.
Entering an intersection before they are sure there will be enough space to clear it.
I hate situations where this can happen, because other people can’t ever be fucking trusted
Its happened twice in my life that I HAD room, then as I made my way across the intersection someone who wasn’t clear in another lane almost hit me to steal my spot, then I look like the asshole
Aw man, I hate when I enter an uncontrolled intersection only to realize that my lane is stopped and now I’m sticking out obstructing cross traffic.
“Look out, everyone, I’m coming!”
Not keeping proper distance to the vehicle in front or behind them
How does a driver choose how close someone follows them?
The nerve of that guy driving so close to the car behind them!
I was taught to adjust my speed until the distance is safe. Most people eventually either overtake, or get the hint and back off.
Don’t break check though! It can cause people to panic and swerve, causing an accident.
Brake checking the person behind them. But yeah, it’s a lot less common than tailing I guess
Ah, that makes sense
People who know damn well they have a right turn coming up in fewer than 30 seconds, but are perfectly comfortable riding that left lane until the last possible second before they violently swoop cut across all lanes of traffic at once to make their turn.
Bonus points if that turning lane is swamped with other cars, but their tunnel vision was so deep they don’t notice until they attempt to merge, and they become frustrated that they either can’t make it, or they have to aggressively steal the right-of-way to force themselves in.
You write like you’ve driven the Garden State Parkway.
Sometimes I can’t believe I survived driving in NJ for a year
You’ve met my ex I see
Twice I had a Lyft driver (the same one both times) try to sell me a vacation timeshare. It’s really awkward being trapped in a car having to hear a sales pitch.
Also, generally don’t like when Uber/Lyft cars are heavily scented to cover up the smell of smoke. Makes my skin itch.
Timeshare (and MLM) salespeople are well-known for their ability to attract and then box-in a potential client. Delivering a pitch while in a fast moving car? That’s next-level diabolical, even for those people.
What I do: I interrupt them. “Hey fucknuts I’m not interested in your time share bullshit. Just keep your eyes on the road and your hands on the wheel and your trap shut.”
That works wonders
Never piss someone off while your life is in their hands. Some people are psychos or have a hair-trigger. Ask them to drive safer if necessary, but just give them a bad rating and block them after you arrive safely.
It’s not hard to be a good driver. You can even drive fast. Just blink several seconds before you change lanes, keep a lot of space between you and the car in front, and just don’t surprise other drivers in any way.
This includes not breaking hard unless you have to (only when you fail to have enough space in front of you to brake smoothly).
My goal while driving is to ensure that I don’t make any other drivers have to hit their brakes unnecessarily.
When they try to get into the back of the car in front of us.
Drivers seem to forget that they always must maintain minimum emergency breaking distance from the car in front, which changes with weather conditions, speed limit, and the reaction times of the driver themselves.
Tailgating is frightening, especially when it’s very clear that if something suddenly happened ahead the driver could not react without superpowers they don’t have.
