Guy getting mad at the conductor foe calling him sir because only a priest can be called that…

Lol, decades in Munich public transport, the best question would be what I haven’t seen. Seriously.

• people talking to themselves, lots of them
• people talking to strangers with the wildest stories, then turn the attention to you if you don’t recognize it in time
• people screaming around they’ll kill, blow up, whatever everyone
• people fighting with each other, holding up the public transport running out and back in
• oh and Italians standing at the rails pissing on Italian wiesn weekend. Of course their backs to the street. So front to the rails. Or the other way around, doesn’t matter anyway.

… Yeah

I bumped into a friend who is cop in the British Transport Police at a station while he was working. While I was there somehow a happy-drunk guy fell between a train and the platform and got stuck. That’s not the crazy part.

The crazy part is the four separate people who all ended up getting arrested because they attacked my friend and the other responders trying to free the stuck man - physically kicking and trying to drag them away - because he/they wouldn’t order the train to leave the station and it was making them late. Four separate people, all apparently sober, all absolute psychopaths who would happily see someone mangled by a train so they wouldn’t be inconvenienced, and so utterly convinced of their righteousness that they were prepared to physically attack police officers and paramedics.

I was later told this is pretty normal when there’s a “one under”: aside from the person who fell getting injured or dying, the biggest immediate problem is a handful of narcissistic cunts who interpret the whole thing as some kind of personal insult. It really shook me that anyone could be like that.

The tram I was on with my dad and little sister struck a woman, she had an umbrella open so she didn’t see the tram (it was a sunny summer day). It cracked her head open and I’ll never forget that sound. The driver panicked and only opened the front door of the tram, right where the woman was laying on the ground, so we were forced to walk out of the tram and jump over the pool of blood gushing from her head. My dad tried to make us not look but I saw the hole in her head, and her brain. I was 10 and my sister 8.
She died on the way to the hospital.
And I just realised I now live in the apartment building right by the tram tracks where it happened, haven’t thought about that memory for a long time.

I took the Bart in San Francisco every day for a decade, definitely saw some things. Saw a guy take a shit between the cars. Saw someone flip off the rails and kick someone in the head.

The one I remember the most was during a busy morning commute, I had my headphones on and I see this older guy pushing through people to follow this younger woman. She kept moving up and down the train to get away from him. After seeing this a few times, I stepped in front of him and told him “I don’t know what’s going on, but she clearly doesn’t want to be near you, so you gotta leave her alone”. He snapped at me screaming that it was his daughter and I need to stay the fuck out of their family situation. Myself and a few others blocked him, and he got off at the next stop. When I asked the woman if she was okay, she said she had no relation to the guy and had never seen him. Scary stuff all around. Im assuming he was mentally ill and had some previous drama about losing his daughter, and something triggered in his brain when he saw that woman. I thought for sure I was gonna get stabbed that day, and if the train wasn’t so crowded I think things would’ve ended a lot differently.

Back when I was a teenager, some old hippie went on an entirely unprompted rant about not killing flies to me and my friends for what seemed like the entirety of our 30 minute bus ride. He said killing harmful bugs is necessary but flies are just looking for nitrogen so don’t kill them.

Some random novice nun recognized that I am an IT guy so she asked me whether it is really possible that it was God who made her computer crash while she was writing her homework essay about some saint that she was obsessed about.

This particular blue wizard. Not my image, but he’s a well known person that you can find image of him online.

One of the first times I took the path train (it’s a light rail in NJ/NYC. Basically another subway line). I sit down, and an older guy in a suit sits down next to me. He’s got like a box in a plastic bag in his lap. No big deal.

This was in like 2002. He didn’t have a cell phone or earphones. Just sitting quietly, waiting for the train to leave.

He started to giggle. Little chuckles. And then escalated to full laughs. It rises and rises until he’s like cackling. And then he calms down, reverses all the way through giggles and back to silence. Never said a word.

I don’t know what was in the box. I didn’t ask. I assume he just got away with a killer heist.

I had traveled to Colorado from Virginia as a young man. I got off the light rail with a guy I had started a conversation with, a knowledgeable local guy talking about all sorts of stuff. After he followed me onto a bus I realized he was up to something, possibly nefarious. He was an older-ish guy, but smaller than me, so I wasnt worried about that. But sure enough after talking about the bar and drug scene in Denver (thats where I was btw) he offered me some “acid”. Now I figured it was bull shit, and I expressed that to him, but he wanted 40$ for a couple hits he put on a receipt, from a visine bottle… he explained that it was a clevar way to transport liquid acid, which i couldnt disagree with necessarily. Anyhow, it was only visine… but as a short tour guide it was worth it anyway.

Edit: that isnt the “craziest”, maybe, but it was interesting.

Drugs is nothing. Vomit is nothing. I watched a dude drop a duce and thought now that’s something.

All the people still refusing to do anything but drive massive empty cars by themselves when directly adjacent to and around mass transit.

Once an old guy asked me to hold the door for him when the train stops so he can stand up and get out. I did but he took very long to stand up so I instinctively went to help him, the door closed and the train went on. So we both excited at the next stop and wanted to get the train back. It was the worst possible stop because the walk was crazy long and the old guy crazy slow. Me being way too helpful, I walked with him and he told me about how his family never visits him anymore and all kinds of trouble in his life, while one train after the other passed by. Eventually we arrived on the other side, got back to the original stop and exited. I escorted him to a taxi. He was very thankful for the adventure and I was a few hours late to work.

A woman jumped while I was waiting for the train at my home station. It wasn’t pretty…

A singing and commentating bus driver! :-)