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If I woke up as a woman, regardless of who that woman is, I would masturbate.
I would masturbate.
This is how I answer most hypotheticals
What if you woke up as your grandpa.
I suppose it depends on how decomposed I am and whether or not I need a heartbeat to get an erection, or if the force reanimating me takes care of that in addition to basic movement, perception and cognition.
I mean, we’re talking about imaginary scenarios, so you can also time travel or wake up in a dimension where you’re your own grandpa in his 20s.
Don’t be daft, you’re making a mockery of the entire thought experiment
Well, considering he has kids, probably fuck your grandma
Or, depending how deeply depressed they are, not.
Or, depending how depressed they are, not.
Take some Viagra. Then masturbate.
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Yeah if I was her you wouldn’t see her outside for a few weeks if I’m honest.
Taylor Swift randomly disappears for 2 months, then suddenly releases new single called “Oh So That’s What It’s Like”
I’d fart in a position so the fart bubbles through my pussy lips and giggle uncontrollably.
Then probably eat Taco Bell and repeat a couple times.
You know, I did have masterbate. Now I’m not sure. Would it be different if she… well, I… had an innie?
Also wonder if I can turn my wife bi so double bonus if I ever get back.
Most woman are bi so I’m sure Taco Bell farts would help her realize that.
Well we did try taco bell for the first time a few days ago and she was a fan…
What are you, a space alien?
I live in one if the few places in the world that isn’t America
I’m not american either but you’re the only one assuming that in this conversation.
What do they not have Taco Bell in New Zealand?
Check if that asshole is bleached
*take a 15 minute flight in my jet to get some fresh bread
Post nudes on 4chan. See if they can tell if they’re real
Carefully photoshop her face in from other pictures of her. Make them both real and fake at the same time.
Post nudes, but with some other woman’s face photoshopped on the body. The greatest troll would be that the nudes they seek are right in front of them, they just don’t know it.
Check myself out nude and then start working on a Norwegian black metal album.
I like all the men chiming in who think that Taylor Swift isn’t hot enough for them. Because I’m sure all the women interested in them are far more attractive than Taylor Swift, which is why they have such high standards.
I mean, people are allowed to have preferences. I also find it hypocritical that the thread OP is acting like everyone else is super misogynistic when his first thought was to check himself out if he was Taylor Swift. Cause my first thought was to do something good with the billion dollars she has. Not that I think she’s a bad person or anything.
Second thought was now I actually have musical talent, so I’d go play all her fancy guitars
You’re such a hypocrite. If a woman woke up with a dick she would immediately jerk off. That’s the least odd part about my post.
Right? And who the hell asked? They just swarmed in.
I mean, she’s unattractive enough that I’d consider not going on a 2nd date if I wasn’t into her on the 1st. Where like a supermodel or whatever, I’d put up with not liking them for several months if she’s into me.
I’m sure many supermodels have been very into you.
She’s ok looking, body wise, fit but meh. I don’t even think she’s that pretty, just normal, average looking. But of course she has the makeup, etc. So she looks great onstage.
Talented gal, but I’ve never thought she was hot
If you think she’s average looking then you must live somewhere I’ve never been before.
I’m not saying she’s unattractive, I just don’t find her attractive myself. I can go for a walk in my city and find a dozen women I find hotter just on my walk. I mean she’s a talented musician, I don’t see why people are getting upset cause I wouldn’t fuck her. That’s not her appeal, there’s enough thots in the music industry, we don’t need every female singer to be fuckable
It’s because of her sharp elbows right?
Taylor is an 8. I married a 9 who to me is a 10. Don’t ask me how, there’s a family history of insanity on both sides.
I’m sure you are an 8 and I’m sure your wife would love to be rated as a 9. Look, this shit only makes you sound like a loser compensating for something. First you’re misogynistic about Taylor Swift and then you brag about how hot you and your wife are. It only makes you seem less fuckable irl.
So you believe that having opinions regarding who we find attractive is misogynistic?
I think giving your opinion about every woman you see is misogynistic. You can see a picture of a woman without saying out loud whether or not you would like to fuck her, right?
I find that pretty rich considering your first thought in this thread was to check out her body. I really don’t see how you’re much better than these other dudes.
I believe rating every woman you see on a 1-10 attractiveness scale is pretty misogynistic. Unless you do it just as frequently with men. How often do you do it with men?
Why would I ever do it with men unless I’m talking to someone who’s into men?
Ah yes, I’m on here looking for people to fuck, that’s it
Nobody asked. She’s not gonna fuck you anyway. If I had her body I’d go out of my way to make it known to everyone that I would never fuck you specifically.
Ok, so wait, you’re mad cause I don’t want to fuck her? I mean do you? That’s kinda creepy. I appreciate her as a person and as an artist, but you seem hungup on her looks and fuckability, so clearly you’re the weirdo here. I See her and go “nice girl, very talented” but you go “omg I wish I could wake up as her so I could jack off with her body!” But I’m the one who’s wrong?
Pathetic. Your opinion on girls doesn’t matter. My suggestion is, keep it to yourself. Only dickheads rate women online.
Get off your high horse internet virgin
Loser.
Same. She isn’t my idea of beauty but not ugly. She has a nice feminine shape but I don’t really care one way or another. I couldn’t tell you any of her songs, I only know that one is something about never getting back together but I don’t know the tune, so might not even recognize it
Damn, you’re so cool. I’m jealous.
Well first I got up I had a piece of toast… then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish.
CLAW-PLACH!!!
Kra???
Taking my top off? It’s what our do regardless of who I woke up as though.
100% I’m masturbating and checking myself out in the mirror while doing so.
Then I’d buy myself all the things I wanted (assuming I wake up in her life and not just her body in my life).
Counterpoint: this is theft. Counter-counterpoint: still okay because she’s a billionaire. But like, imagine waking up as someone normal, and you go and spend all their money. That’d be fucked up.
Those are all valid points. Calling it theft would be a good ethics debate though… Oh she would be getting a bad deal if she woke up in my body, in my life.
Trying to figure out who the fuck I am.
Presumably im being spooned by that sports man, so Id rip a massive fart on his dick and balls, then go to the dunny.
why am I seeing Taylor Swift everywhere? Is she running for presidency?
It’s fascist propaganda. It’s not just that they don’t like her endorcing Biden or the conspiracy theories, it’s also good distraction from real issues. It’s working really well too.
I would give all of my money to my (real) family then kill myself.
Not because I dislike Taylor Swift, she just has the complete opposite life I want. I do not like attention. I am not an extrovert. I despise people.
This is actually kind of a nightmare to think about lol.
If you woke up as her, with all her wealth, you could disappear. Change your hair, gain some weight, no makeup, and tour around Europe
With her money, you can do whatever you want. That includes buying an island and employing trigger-happy security to ensure you enjoy your life of solitude.
Look in the mirror and check out boobies obviously!
Transfer all wealth and assets to socialist causes, liquidize what I can and have. Have a stiff drink. Record a video where I declare myself loyal to the anticapitalist cause and the steps I took so far. All houses are now open to be ransacked come and get it.
Then I dunno, turn the swifties into a paramilitary organization that will join the struggle against the capitalist class.
That would be a pretty good day.
Well I would go to the loo then brush my teeth and then have a shower.
You party animal!
You monster! Teeth brushing and shower should occur before sleep, not after! :)
Maybe not the first, but I’d want to make sure her music talent was part of the deal, otherwise its all downhill from here.
She has more money than she can spend in her lifetime. If she quit singing today it wouldn’t be downhill for her.
So I think you’d be fine without the talent.
Yeah but waking up as a proficient multi-instrumentalist, singer, and songwriter would be part of the fun, I imagine.
True, but I’d just take the billion dollars and live with the solace that I didn’t have the talent of Taylor Swift.
I guess I mean that in this thought experiment it’s about waking up as Taylor Swift, not as some random billionaire. Like waking up as Elon Musk seems like it would be a lot more boring than waking up as a talented musician.
True.
In that case, I would use my talents to switch to Funk.
The last time the talents of Taylor Swift were directed toward funk it didn’t go so well.
Well she countrified it. I can see why.
If you’re going to do Earth, Wind and Fire, you gotta put some stank on it!
Uptown funk gon give it to ya
Could use her financial knowledge as well.
When you have as much money as Taylor Swift, you don’t need financial knowledge. I struggle to think of how I would spend 1.1 billion dollars. Obviously a really big telescope and the best camera money can buy, but that still leaves me with approximately 1.1 billion dollars to spend
When you have that money you need some financial literacy or else people in my old professions will separate your money from you quite quickly.
You’re the 1%, you probably have the money to separate their heads from their bodies in a back alley in Saudi Arabia somewhere
Throw enough money at something and you’ll get some satisfactory results.
If you’re going to stay in her line of business (which you presumably wanted to given the person I responded to wanted her talents) you’re going to get bled dry pretty quickly if you don’t mind both your finances and who you surround yourself with. Taylor Swift knows what she’s doing in both regards.
If you’re just going to retire and live off capital gains you’ll need less, but you would need to spend some money on security as well, because you’re still rich and famous, and a lot of people want a piece of that pie.
With my lifestyle and sense of fashion she’ll/I’ll be unrecognizable in days
