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Emotional and ready to quit your job/break up with someone/confront someone?
Write down what you want to say/write. WRITE IT ALL DOWN.
Wait 24 hours. Read it again.
Do you still think you should send it? Then send it.
80% of the time my issue was stupid and my reaction inappropriate, but because I kept my mouth shut, all I had to do was tear up a piece of paper.
Thanks dad. That’s served me well.
Also, even if you are making the right descision in breaking things off, often the more you say the more ammo/pain you are giving to the other party. Most of the time, the “wait 24h” trick makes you realize you are saying too much.
Admitting a mistake is NOT the same as admitting weakness or stupidity.
Depends on the culture:
in empiricist/objective science-culture, that’s true, but in authority-based cultures, … that won’t work.
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When admitting to a mistake be sure to address how you plan to fix it. Especially if it’s a mistake at work.
Never make fun of someone’s job. No matter how “beneath you” it is, somebody has to do it, and we should all appreciate that they do it.
What about looksmaxing influencers? I can make fun of their job right?
That’s not a job.
I think the jury is still out on whether or not that’s a job, so I think it’s allowed for now.
My brother keeps bringing up parking wardens and no matter how I’m trying to put myself in their (employer’s) shoes, I’m unable to convince him.
No, your brothers right. Fuck those assholes.
Hey, there’s always exceptions to the rule. 🤷🏻♂️
Everyone’s got a job, so they can feed themselves at least
Also, they don’t make the rules, they just implement them. They’re not the cause, just the symptom. Go for the cause.
Ah, the old “I was only following orders” excuse.
You can’t accept an immoral job, and then just dismiss the immorality by saying “I was only doing my job.”
Comparing parking enforcement to nazis is crazy.
It’s all about the Slippery Slope. It’s a short, fast trip, all on the same slope.
Don’t Panic
Might not ever be the best piece of advice, but it’s always the second best piece of advice in any situation
This is a good piece of advice for hitchhiking around the galaxy
Always know where your towel is.
Did you sketch that frood, Triumph? Now there’s a hoopy frood, who really knows where their towel is!
Back in college, we made a party punch that we called Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, and you’d be able to drink maybe one red solo cup worth.
This was specific to calculus homework but it has turned out to be very good advice, “when you don’t know what to do, do something”. Often decisions can be paralyzing or problems can feel insurmountable but doing nothing is a choice. Very rarely is it the best one.
Me: this seems like sound reasoning, I should follow it and be more decisive
My ADHD:
Instructions unclear—(noun) (adjective) (preposition) (noun).
(em dash) (em dash) (em dash)
Yeah. I see a lot of people get stuck on problems where they get free iterations because they try a couple of things, get stuck, and require others to come up with more ideas.
Analysis paralysis is real. And it’s funny, I joke that I made a lot of poor decisions as a kid, I was impulsive, did what came to mind, but it all led me to a pretty good life, and so I’m all about just do it and deal with it.
I am not sure that’s a good in idea, but I’ll reassess from my deathbed.
The three least heard words in the universe will serve you well, and often catch people off guard - don’t be afraid to use them.
“I was wrong.”
Admit your mistakes when they happen, then when something goes wrong no one will accuse you.
It’s also not hard to do casually without having to grovel. My nursing subspecialty is violence management and I frequently respond to things with,“thank you for reminding me, I’m going to go do that now!” and,“I hadn’t realized that was your preference, thank you for letting me know!” or,“that’s a good thing to point out I’m glad you’re being an active participant in your care!” You don’t even have to say you’re wrong half the time you can also just regularly tell people they’re right.
definitely some layers to this advice for sure, situation and relationship matters!
Never compare yourself to others but only to yourself from the past.
Be grateful for what you have.
“Shut the fuck up.”
Never talk to cops. Wait for a lawyer.
If you have to whine or criticize something make sure to have a way to make it better. If you bring up a problem, bring up the solution with you.
I really hate this advice.
You don’t necessarily need to bring a solution.
The solution may come in many ways but the most important thing is bring the problem to the light so everybody become aware.
If you’re not satisfied with something whine and criticize the hell out of it. If you’re right others will show up and together we may find a solution.
Sometimes you feel something is wrong but not necessarily know how it can be fixed, but you know it’s wrong.
Don’t hold yourself from complaining just because you don’t have a solution, bring whatever you feel to discussion.
A shit solution can absolutely be worse than the initial problem, for sure.
Good advice
I get rather annoyed when someone says “I have a problem” without any further thought shown toward it.
Sure, you don’t need to always have the solution, but if you have something worth complaining about then it’s something worth putting at least a little time and effort into thinking about solving before complaining. That reflection will often come through in how the problem gets put forward such that it’s easier for everyone to help find a solution.
This is great advice. I’ve heard it refined to “bring the energy to be part of the solution” - which clarifies that one doesn’t have to have all the answers, but had better be willing to engage with solving whatever one complains about.
When I managed a team, my one big rule was to always have them try to offer something constructive to a problem, rather than them come tell me there was a problem and hope I fix it.
I would quote the Simpsons, “We’ve tried nothing and we’re out of ideas” (I never said this condescendingly)
Eventually they would come up with quick ideas and share them. And regardless if they were right or not, I would encourage them to go further and try out their idea without solving it for them. This built so much confidence in the team, they did amazing work.
Bringing the energy to be part of the solution (you don’t need to SOLVE it) really can bring a team together
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Learn how to deal with people.
No matter what you do in life you have to deal with people in some way. Even if they are paid to do what you tell them it’s a huge difference if they put your request on the top or bottom of their pile.
When I got my first car my grandmother told me “don’t do anything to it that makes it stand out to the police.”
An okay plan applied immediately and vigorously is INFINTELY better than a perfect plan ten minutes too late.
Tell me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are. I thought it was stupid when I heard it as a kid, but it’s the damned truth and I turned my life for the better after cutting loose some people I should not have called my friends.
The best thing I ever did was ignore the advice people gave me and figured out stuff on my own.
Because most advice I got was coming from a completely different universe and totally irrelevant to my own personal situation, and most advice-givers were straight up hypocrites, who were mostly only interested in me thinking they were great, when they were total jerks.
Its funny, because I’ve felt similarly in the past. But then I got some really great advice.
You aren’t special. Your problems aren’t that unique. There are already ready-made solutions for almost every problem you have, and your real problem is that you tell yourself that you are especially worse off and your problems are totally unique, because otherwise you would have to admit that the reason you keep failing is that you were just too dumb and lazy to do the obvious hard work everyone else was doing. So shut the fuck up and stick to the program as written. After you’ve finished the program, then you’re allowed to criticize it.
May or may not be applicable to you. But it was what I needed to hear
I needed to hear that. Thank you
