• spittingimage@lemmy.world
    1037·
    4 个月前

    The Last Jedi.

    I left the theatre angry that they spent enough money to take mankind back to the moon on something that stupid.

    • spittingimage@lemmy.world
      743·
      4 个月前

      I can’t leave it at that. I have to add some details.

      Both the empire and the rebels repeatedly made tactical decisions so stupid a five-year old would know better. The opening battle involved sending unprotected bombers against a ship with anti-bomber defences and keeping the enemy commander talking on the phone to delay his response. That works in a Mel Brooks movie, not in Star Wars.

      They killed a fan-favourite character off-screen. What, was the puppet too old to reprise its role?

      The empire’s main guy decided to chase the rebels down instead of destroying them immediately. For fun, I guess.

      Phasma’s a badass. Except that she capitulates at the first sign of personal danger.

      All Holdo had to say was “yes, there’s a plan. Not telling you what because of operational secrecy”. Instead she expected Poe to blindly follow orders when he’d already shown he couldn’t do that.

      “Oh no, the sacred texts!” …that you attempted to burn a moment ago.

      • jordanlund@lemmy.world
        58·
        4 个月前

        My favorite bit:

        Leia gives Rey a pendant and tells her that she can use that to track them wherever they go.

        In the SAME SCENE, with NO CUTS, they are tracked by the first order and shout “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!”

        You just described, IN THE SAME SCENE, how it is, in fact, possible.

        Bonus: Putting a tracker in the Falcon was how the Death Star found Yavin IV in the very first movie.

      • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
        26·
        4 个月前

        All Holdo had to say was “yes, there’s a plan. Not telling you what because of operational secrecy”. Instead she expected Poe to blindly follow orders when he’d already shown he couldn’t do that.

        Well, he did fine following orders in the first movie, and then they changed the entire character in the second movie but kept the same name. I have no idea why they did that.

            • TheFonz@lemmy.world
              1·
              4 个月前

              I don’t think this is entirely accurate. I know ultimately Kathleen called a lot of the shots and was very meddling in the production and I thitk Ryan was trying to do something original after seeing what a superficial piece of garbage TFA was. Ryan is actually a good writer / director.

    • MagicShel@lemmy.zipEnglish
      162·
      4 个月前

      And yet… it’s my favorite post-OT movie. It could’ve used another draft to tighten a couple things up here and there, but it was good.

      Now… TRoS is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my life and is the only Star Wars property I’ve only seen a single time and never will watch again. Hell I watched Book of Boba Fett twice. Shit, I’ve watched In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale twice. I’d have to go back to Battlefield Earth to think of an equally terrible film.

      But when watching The Last Jedi I feel nothing but joy.

      • SanguinePar@lemmy.world
        9·
        4 个月前

        No, the horses were in Rise of Skywalker.

        The Last Jedi was the one with the “Can you hear me now?” gags, and Luke tossing the lightsaber away.

    • Daftydux@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
      5·
      4 个月前

      I see why they made it but really the ip must be toxic because there’s no reason they cant make these movies.

        • GladiusB@lemmy.world
          31·
          4 个月前

          I can.

          Luke’s arc is exactly as he predicted back in Empire and ROTJ. He found peace and defeated his foe using the force in a peaceful way and helped them escape in redemption. Redemption from the horrific way he wanted to kill his disciple out of fear.

          Rey and Kylo had legitimate struggles with who they were. A character arc of not knowing who was truly bad or good and the internal struggles with figuring that out.

          The battle scene with the imperial guards with Rey and Kylo was one of the best cinematic battle scenes in Star Wars for me.

          The vision quest of Rey was legit eye opening on her character and not foreshadowing anything. Great way to tell a story.

          The flashbacks with Kylo and Luke changing what happened throughout the story was a good story telling device. I forget what story type it is, but it see saws 3 times until we find out what really happens.

          I know it’s not a popular opinion. But I do enjoy this movie so much more than the prequels in terms of execution and emotional connection.

        • jordanlund@lemmy.world
          227·
          4 个月前

          Rogue One is a shitfest for a variety of reasons:

          The original writer director didn’t start with a script, he started with a supercut of other sci fi films and used that to make a script.

          https://slate.com/culture/2017/01/rogue-one-s-editors-used-pieces-of-wargames-and-aliens-to-mock-up-the-film-s-first-draft.html

          Even when he had a script, he spent an hour a day shooting off script for things that looked cool, but served no purpose.

          So when the first trailers came out, they were full of gibberish footage that was never actually used in the movie.

          https://www.polygon.com/2017/1/6/14195898/rogue-one-star-wars-trailer-jyn-erson

          Then he got fired and a new writer director was brought in, one who said his super power was he never liked Star Wars.

          https://theplaylist.net/tony-gilroy-rogue-one-podcast-20180405/

          “Because that was my superpower. A) I don’t like ‘Star Wars’—not that I don’t like it, but I’ve never been interested in ‘Star Wars’ ever, so I had no reverence for it whatsoever, I was unafraid about that and they were in such a swamp… they were in so much, terrible, terrible trouble that all you could do was improve their position.”

          So you get conflicting scenes, one where Cassian has no trouble murdering an innocent informant, but not long after gets all sweaty and conflicted when it’s time to assassinate a legitimate military target.

          https://youtu.be/LORtuZ0ISF4#t=48s

          vs.

          https://youtu.be/eCN7zF1BMIQ

          No character growth, no arc, just in one scene he has no trouble murdering an innocent guy WHO HELPED HIM BTW, but later refuses to take out a military target HE WAS SUPPOSED to kill.

          To say nothing of crapping all over the iconic opening of Star Wars by having Vader watch the Death Star plans fly away, personally, with his own eyes.

          • WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish
            221·
            4 个月前

            It’s pretty funny that it still turned out to be the best Star Wars film since the OG trilogy.

            • jordanlund@lemmy.world
              82·
              4 个月前

              I dunno, I think the best of the Disney versions is still Force Awakens. The big complaint is “Well, it’s just Star Wars…” which is true… but it’s Star Wars without George Lucas. They had to prove they could do what Lucas did without Lucas and I think they succeeded in that.

              Then Last Jedi shit the bed. Then Carrie Fisher died which painted them into a corner with Rise of Skywalker. Force Awakens was Han, Last Jedi was Luke, Rise of Skywalker was supposed to be Leia… 😢

          • SpatchyIsOnline@lemmy.world
            122·
            4 个月前

            No character growth, no arc, just in one scene he has no trouble murdering an innocent guy WHO HELPED HIM BTW, but later refuses to take out a military target HE WAS SUPPOSED to kill.

            Yeah, it’s almost like the target he was about to assassinate could be the only person in the galaxy who knows how to take out the weapon he just witnessed level a city.

            To say nothing of crapping all over the iconic opening of Star Wars by having Vader watch the Death Star plans fly away, personally, with his own eyes.

            Those two scenes line up perfectly and imo are quite satisfying when watching the two films back to back. In what way does Rogue One’s ending “crap all over” A New Hope’s opening?

            • jordanlund@lemmy.world
              51·
              4 个月前

              In Star Wars, Vader interrogates Leia, he talks about the plans being transmitted, not that he saw them personally be stolen.

              He’s also ragged on by Motti for not having found the tapes when Rogue One puts him in the same hallway with them.

              Speaking of… he force grabs every one and every thing in that hallway except the ONE THING he’s there for. Vader is not that STUPID.

              The Death Star Plans have plot armor, they HAVE to get away, don’t put them in the same hallway as Vader and don’t make them a physical object that can be grabbed.

            • jordanlund@lemmy.world
              74·
              4 个月前

              Same. I got as far as “Yer a wizard rebel now!” and was like “Nope!” Took 3 full tries before I finished it.

              The Rebel Moon movies are better than Rogue One and that’s saying something.

              • scytale@lemmy.zip
                4·
                4 个月前

                The Rebel Moon movies are better than Rogue One

                Woah slow down there. I can understand not liking Rogue One, but no way the trash that is Rebel Moon is better.

      • SupraMario@lemmy.world
        135·
        4 个月前

        You take that back! It spawned andor which is also amazing. Rogue one proves they can actually make a gritty star wars film that shows a broken universe wouldn’t be all good vs evil bullshit.

      • Mr. Satan@lemmy.zip
        4·
        4 个月前

        I tried watching new star wars and they were all so boring. I remember from childhood pod racing and that red guy with double light sabers.

        I now see that people liked star wars for it’s story, but for me it was just a cool space fantasy. That nostalgia didn’t transfer for me.

        I don’t very well remember the plot of the first three of the new movies, but I remember being bored, they felt slow and there were no hooks to make me care. After watching the third movie I just said fuck it and gave up.

        I might try and watch the old movies as a grown up, but at this point I’d rather rewatch Shrek after work then gamble on a franchise I probably won’t like.

  • ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    793·
    4 个月前

    The Hobbit trilogy. It’s hard to understand how Peter Jackson could mess up movie after movie after movie like that.

    • justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io
      611·
      4 个月前

      Simple:

      He and his crew had 2 years of prep for Lotr, storyboards, finding locations, making props and sets, etc.

      New Line Cinemas forced him to do that same prep in 6 months for the Hobbit. Allegedly they didn’t even fully finish the script and had to cut in Del Toro scenes.

        • Jack_Burton@lemmy.ca
          13·
          4 个月前

          There are a few different edits, but my fave is the M4 Book Edit. It only follows what was covered in the book and cuts out all the additions like the Kili/Tauriel love story (and Tauriel is cut out completely along with Azog until the end), the Dol Guldur stuff, and Gandalf’s escapades outside the party. It cuts the trilogy down to 4hr18min. Aside from a few unavoidably janky transitions, it’s great.

          I absolutely adore it for 2 reasons: One, I really dislike the trilogy as a whole, but that’s because of the bloat, which M4 gets rid of. Two, the older I get the harder it is to go through LOTR as often as I like. I usually do an LOTR rewatch once a year, and tried to add in the Hobbit, but usually stopped after the first. It’s just too much time for not enough payoff. With the M4 edit, I’ll get stoned and watch it 5 or 6 times a year.

          For as much flack as Jackson gets the for The Hobbit movies, he did a phenomenal job where it counts. There really is a wonderful, true-to-source Hobbit adventure scattered throughout the 8hr52min bloat that is the trilogy.

          For funsies, if you like the other bits there’s another fan edit called Durin’s Folk and the Hill of Sorcery that’s 1hr8min that covers Gandalf’s adventure after he fucks off from the party at Mirkwood.

      • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world
        11·
        4 个月前

        I think it was Prime’s Theater where I learnt that for the Smaug fight scene for movie 2, they planed the set the night before, painted the next morning, filmed, and the paint was still wet when the sets were taken down.

    • ashzilla@lemmy.zip
      101·
      4 个月前

      I like them all ¯_(ツ)_/¯

      (Yes I had read the book before they were made)

  • Odo@lemmy.worldEnglish
    54·
    4 个月前

    Battleship. It’s just such a bizarre license for a movie, and certainly one nobody ever asked for. (Well, outside Hasbro execs clearly desperate for another Transformers-level hit.)

    Oddly watchable in a big dumb fun kind of way, at least. And hey, it has Jesse Plemons not playing a total sociopath, so that’s neat.

    • MimicJar@lemmy.world
      11·
      4 个月前

      The moment they announced Cats I knew it wasn’t going to work.

      First, the story sucks. A bunch of cats prancing around and learning not to be a dick to that one cat.

      Second, Cats is a spectacle. The reason you go see Cats in a theater is for the spectacle. Everyone is dressed up and dancing around. It’s meant to be an experience. You can’t translate that to film.

    • Daftydux@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
      71·
      4 个月前

      I support the idea of making a cats movie. Just not like that. Should have been more costumes then cgi. Youre audience is furrys… so do furrys…

      • jordanlund@lemmy.world
        14·
        4 个月前

        Especially the Spielberg sequel… After the success of the first movie, Crighton wrote a Lost World novel as a sequel to the FILM, not the first book.

        Spielberg jettisoned the book and did his own sequel instead. :(

        I really wanted to see the chameleon dinosaurs on film.

    • Daftydux@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
      9·
      4 个月前

      Yes. You look at the title of the movie and you go, nope.

      You just know there’s some producer out there who is salivating over minion merch.

      • alcibiades@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        4 个月前

        It honestly was fine for a kids movie. The story was so generic that it was impossible to mess up and would work with any character/setting.

        I was disappointed with how boring it was. They should’ve leaned way more into the emoji aspect.

        • Daftydux@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
          2·
          4 个月前

          Let me write the script. Id tackle it with the “anything goes” energy and it would be non-stop crazy nonsense.

    • Blackmist@feddit.ukEnglish
      5·
      4 个月前

      How dare you slight the cohesion and vision of the Whatever Sony Has The Rights To Cinematic Universe?

    • SilverShark@lemmy.world
      4·
      4 个月前

      I was playing Spider-Man 2, where Kraven is a major character, when this movie came out and I wasn’t even aware of it. It is also now available on Netflix.

      • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
        3·
        4 个月前

        i first heard of kraven from the game, spiderman instead of the movie, i think the GAME cutscenes are better than the movie.

  • Annoyed_🦀 @lemmy.zipEnglish
    28·
    4 个月前

    Ohh i forgot another one of my favorite. Ghost in the Shell live action. I love that movie because of Scarlett Johansson, but if you watch the original anime, everything just feels better, and the live action is simply unnecessary.

  • Sterile_Technique@lemmy.worldEnglish
    25·
    4 个月前

    There’s a distinction to point out between “absolutely no business getting made” vs “the final product turned out to be shit”. I can’t really think of anything that belongs to the former… I haven’t actually seen most of the films mentioned here so far, except the SW sequels… which turned out to be shit, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have made SW sequels at all: they just shouldn’t have made them shit.

    • Daftydux@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
      7·
      4 个月前

      I was more curious about the former but got a lot more of the latter. Unfortunately, it would be difficult to phrase the question to get only the desired result. Oh well.

      • MagicShel@lemmy.zipEnglish
        6·
        4 个月前

        If you want the former, I’ll say Arcane. They poured money into that and it shows. They will never be able to count money made by that, though it was great word of mouth and I’m sure increased sales. But they spent like a half-billion dollars on that with no hope of any return. But damn that was a hell of a series.

    • ssillyssadass@lemmy.world
      3·
      4 个月前

      Makes me think of the Warcraft movie. Warcraft actually has some good lore to get into, it could totally be made into a good movie. Of course they botched it though.

      • pahlimur@lemmy.world
        1·
        4 个月前

        I weirdly don’t hate the warcraft movie. It sucks in some ways but it does a good job feeling like it’s in the warcraft universe.

  • Denjin@lemmings.world
    262·
    4 个月前

    Waterworld. At the time the most expensive movie ever made and the most spectacular flop of all time.

      • Flocklesscrow@lemmy.zip
        12·
        4 个月前

        John Carter suffered from an awful title.

        “Princess of Mars,” would have resonated better with marketing. And is actually one of the book titles.

        • AngryRobot@lemmy.world
          2·
          4 个月前

          I agree, but Dianey was desperate to create a new franchise. It was their response to Iron Man and the anticipated success of the MCU.

      • MagicShel@lemmy.zipEnglish
        8·
        4 个月前

        Neither of those movies were really all that terrible. I enjoyed John Carter. But clearly they didn’t connect with audiences.

          • jacksilver@lemmy.world
            2·
            4 个月前

            Yeah, I was upset they didnt continue John Carter, it was just a fun zany scifi movie. I think it was the advertising that killed it, but if they had stuck with it I think it could have done well.

        • beejboytyson@lemmy.world
          2·
          4 个月前

          It’s the name and the power concept, all around bland and forgettable. Feel like that movie was a passion project of a book fan.

      • Babalugats@lemmy.world
        5·
        4 个月前

        I must be on my own. I know John Carter flopped phenomenally, but I really liked it. Thought it was a great movie. Was very annoyed when I found out that there may never be a 2nd. Even if there was, at this stage it is very unlikely to be the same cast. IIRC, a lot of the blame was on Disney marketing. But IDK about these things.

        • Daftydux@lemmy.dbzer0.comOPEnglish
          5·
          4 个月前

          Don’t worry brother, I still go back and watch waterworld. I like oceanscapes and post apocalyptic settings. Esthetic can be enough for me.

        • Angry_Autist@lemmy.world
          1·
          4 个月前

          It would have been a great Sci Fi miniseries, and eventually a movie. They didn’t prep the groundwork for the franchise and casted very poorly

      • Denjin@lemmings.world
        3·
        4 个月前

        I did some digging and apparently Waterworld somehow broke even. I remember a lot of the hype around the film at the time was wanting to see if it was really as bad as people said it was.

  • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    221·
    4 个月前

    I’m gonna go in a different direction than everyone else here.

    Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl

    is a big budget movie that had absolutely no business getting made, because:

    1. Pirate movies have always been box office poison. Less than a decade earlier, Cutthroat Island made the Guinness Book of Records as the biggest box office bomb of all time, the latest in a series of pirate-themed failures. The only vaguely pirate-themed movies that had ever had anything you’d call success was Muppet Treasure Island and Goonies, and you could argue that Goonies wasn’t really a pirate movie, it had some pirate theming in it. In 2002, Disney’s Treasure Planet, basically Treasure Island IN SPAAACE had proven a box office flop. Treasure Planet is a well-written, well-made, well-advertised, well-reviewed pirate movie that failed at the box office. What idiot would bankroll another pirate film?

    2. It was a movie based on an old ride at Disney World. It was their fourth attempt at this, they made a TV movie based on Tower of Terror in 1997 that they’re apparently not proud of, 2000s Mission To Mars was a “commercial disappointment” and 2002’s The Country Bears was a critical and commercial flop. Yeah the year before they made Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney made a G-rated pastiche of the Blues Brothers out of The Country Bear Jamboree. They decided to do that and nobody stopped them. No movie based on a theme park attraction had ever made its money back.

    The public’s reaction to the announcement was “They’re making a movie based on WHAT?” This wasn’t going to work. This movie had no business being made.

    The film achieved massive critical and commercial success as the 141st highest grossing movie of all time taking $654.3 million against it’s $140 million budget and spawning four sequels.

    • GladiusB@lemmy.world
      6·
      4 个月前

      Everything you said was why it made so much. No one saw it coming and it was entertaining. I still think the first two are solid. After that it fell off. But the third is decent just because of Jack Sparrow’s father being Keith Richards.

      You can bag on all you want but it’s movie. The main objective is to entertain. And it does that on many levels. It’s not necessarily cinema but most of these movies are not considered high class cinema. They are blockbusters whose main objective is to make money while entertaining.

      • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        2·
        4 个月前

        Oh I thoroughly enjoyed the film. I went to the theater to see it 8 times, with 5 different girls.

        It turned out fantastic. But it had absolutely no business being made. And that was the assignment of this thread.

    • Psythik@lemmy.world
      1·
      4 个月前

      I loved that Tower of Terror movie. Knowing the lore made the ride so much better once I finally got to experience it.

        • Psythik@lemmy.world
          1·
          4 个月前

          Stremio carries it:

          But to be fair, it’s a piracy service, so it carries everything. But a damn good piracy service, though. So much so that I canceled all my streaming services and just use Stremio now.

    • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org
      8·
      4 个月前

      I was in the Navy and my ship visited Pearl Harbor in the 90s. We gave honors to the ship monuments and it was a great honor to be apart of that. It was a memory I really cherish.

      When the bad reviews started coming out almost immediately, I knew I could never watch that movie and hold my personal memories in the same regard.

      so I have never seen it and will walk out of the room if someone insists on watching it around me.

      • Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world
        5·
        4 个月前

        You’re not missing much. I saw it around the time it came out and will not watch it again. There are just too many things that are a better use of my time, like shampooing the family dog or taking a nap.